Prof. F.J Lewis
History Today
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DB: Er, welcome once again to History Today.
I'm afraid that tonight the axe is hanging over our programme.

We have been warned that unless we properly explore tonight's topic

of discussion,  the Industrial Revolution, my and Professor F.J Lewis'

tenure on the television will be terminated forthwith. So, Professor

Lewis, what do you feel were the primary problems faced by urban

society during the period 1702 to '56?
   
RN: Well the Industrial Revolution caused a shift to urban conurbations by
what had been largely agrarian population and communities and so

forth. This led to very poor living conditions, and in his journal Samuel

Pepys gives a particularly harrowing account of one man, whom he

describes thus: {reads from book}

'He had scurvy and rickets and was covered from head to foot in festering sores. All in all he was quite the most ghastly apparition of a man I had ever seen.'
   
DB: I see. Who exactly was this poor unfortunate?
   
RN: {slowly turns the page} That's you, that is. That's the nicest thing he could find to say about you.
   
DB: I see. See that M. Khan?
   
RN: I have certainly heard of the fellow.
   
DB: He's your best mate he is. He's like your special friend. You are him -
Professor F.J.M Khan, is bent.
   
RN: Oh ah ha ha ha.
You see a piece of old crust, with like blue mould all over it?
   
DB: Er, that's got a bit wet in the corner?
   
RN: Yes, yes that's right and very stale and hard.
   
DB: Has it been on the floor?
   
RN: Yes, it has been on the floor and it smells very bad because it is off.
   
DB: Yes?
   
RN: That's your dinner, that is. That's what you have at Christmas. That's your special birthday meal.
   
DB: See this? {pulls a face} That's you, that is.
   
RN: Sorry, I didn't see you do anything then. All you did was this {keeps a
straight face} 'see this? That's you, that is'.
Oh, are you pulling a funny face now? Oh that's horrible, ohh hho stop it now.
   
DB: You know that song - da de da, de da da da- that's your favourite, that is.
That's your favourite number one song of all time. Oh, you've had a haircut. Hairrrrcut. Haircuuutt.
   
RN: You see that Theo Kojak? That's you, that is.
   
DB: {spits} See that bit of flob?
   
RN: Yes.
   
DB: That's you, that is.
   
RN: No, that's your swimming pool in your garden. Oh look, there's your mum. {stands and pretends to swim}
   
DB: Well, I think no one can be in any doubt that we have had tonight a
most rich and enlightening debate. Er, Professor Lewis, thankyou very

much.
   
RN: {stands up straight} Thankyou. {pretends to swim again}

 

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