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History Today
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DB: Good evening and welcome to History Today.
I would like to take this moment to thank viewers who have stayed with us over the course of these discussions. We are under increasing     pressure from the controllers, who fear that we have been in someway disappointing those viewers with a yen for historical inquiry. I can only apologise and pledge that tonight both myself and Professor F.J Lewis, Emeritus Professor of History at All Souls College, Oxford, are determined as never before to undertake a full and rigorous expedition of tonight's most exciting subject, The Doomsday Book. The beginning of radicalism or the end of liberty ? Professor Lewis...
   
RN: See that Michael Bolton?
   
DB: Oh dear. I am aware of his work.
   
RN: That's your haircut, that is.
   
DB: You see those white plastic bracelets that mental patients wear that say 'on continuous medication. Return wearer to hospital.'?
   
RN: I have observed them.
   
DB: That's your Swatch, that is. That's your shockproof Tag Hauer.
   
RN: It is indeed a moot point - the end of radicalism, beginning of liberty.
   
DB: Yes.
   
RN: It's in this twilight period of transition we can see the magical significance
14th century mythology attaches to things, which are themselves

 symbols of transition.
   
DB: Yes.
   
RN: The edge of a forest or twilight itself. That dusk before the day has really ended but nor can one say it is yet early evening.
   
DB: Of course.
   
RN: That's your bedtime, that is. That's your bedtime on Friday nights.
You're on the cover of Quarter-past Five Monthly. Congratulations.
   
DB: The importance of The Doomsday Book as a milestone in history can be seen from the fact that it is one of only a handful of books to be kept in cryogenic suspension at the British Museum. The book is held in a sealed chamber at a set temperature of minus 273 º Celsius. A temperature that is known in modern physics as absolute zero.
   
RN: Indeed.
   
DB: And that's the number of pubic hairs you've got. You thought you had
one but then you wee'd through it.
   
RN: You know those things that happen in the street after nine o'clock?
   
DB: Oh, yes. Yes, very much so.
   
RN: Oh?! So I presume you're familiar with the Viking longboat driven by       Mary Peters down our street at nine-thirty?
   
DB: Yes, of course.
   
RN: {nods and rubs chin} Like all ships of Nordic pagan design..
   
DB: Yes.
   
RN: ... had a curved aft {puts one hand out} and a curved stern {puts other
hand out}, thus.
   
DB: Yes, I am aware of the design.
   
RN: And that's how you walk down the street.
   
DB: Well I don't think anyone can be in any doubt...
   
RN: {gets up wiggling, hands out at shoulders, bit like a Thunderbird}
 Oh girls... {looks at watch} Oh no! Quarter-past five!
   
DB: ...that tonight Professor Lewis and myself have had a most penetrating and invigorating debate.
   
RN: {keep wiggling, yawns}
   
DB: Professor F.J Lewis, thankyou very much.
   
RN: {pauses} Thankyou. {keeps on wiggling}

 

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