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Episode 3: From Newman & Baddiel in Pieces
DB:	Good evening and welcome to History Today. Tonight's topic, a most exciting topic if I may say, is the Enclosures Act and its affects on English rural populations. Professor Lewis, I wonder if you would agree that the most perspective analysis of 14th Century culture may be garnered from the literature of the time. Langland, Bunyan and specifically Chaucer.
RN:	{speaks in Latin}
DB:	Indeed. And how exactly would you interpret this piece?
RN:	That's how your Mum talks. She's got a bit missing from her mouth. It's a tragedy.
DB:	I see. See one of those boxes with a drawing of a cow on it and when you turn it upside down it goes 'moo'?
RN:	moo?
DB:	Yes, moo.
RN:	I have observed the novelty item.
DB:	That's your stereo, that is. That's your state-of-the-art Hitachi. See that Matt Monroe?
RN:	No, I've never heard of him and no-one knows or cares who he is.
DB:	Yes, that's you, that is.
RN:	You know when you walk into a field and you tread in a cowpat and then immediately with the other foot you tread in another cowpat?
DB:	So I am effectively at this stage standing in two piles of cack?
RN:	Up to the ankles.
DB:	I have heard talk of the experience.
RN:	That's your new trainers, that is. That's your 100 pound Reeboks.
DB:	Professor Lewis, do you see that woman at the back of the television theatre?
RN:	Do you mean right at the very, very back wall of the entire studio?
DB:	Yes, from here she is a barely distinguishable speck.
RN:	I can just, just make her out.
DB:	That's the nearest you've ever come to getting off with a girl. So I don't think anyone can be in any doubt that tonight myself and Professor F.J Lewis have had a most valid and rich and incisive debate. Professor F.J Lewis, thankyou very much.
RN:	{making kissing sounds to woman at back of studio} Oh, thankyou.