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History Today
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DB:
Good evening and welcome to History Today.
Tonight we will be endeavouring to establish a cogent idea of British

civic life - their institutions and so forth- from pre Roman times to our

own. Professor Lewis, I wonder if you would agree with radical Celtic historians that the notion of a centralised bureaucracy is actually alien to the British character?
   
RN: Indeed. Although the essential flux which informs us, nebulus eternis
(?), character means that this theory topples over like a fallen tree.

And that's what you did when you had your ECG.
   
DB: I don't care about anything you say today, because tomorrow I'm going to Marine World in Brighton.
   
RN: Yeah, in a special bus. And you can't even go to the toilet on your own. And the driver's on, like, strict instructions not to go over 3 miles per
hour, in case you get scared.
   
DB: Even if that were the case, which it is not, it still remains the fact that it
is I who am going to Brighton Marine World and not you. So, if we may

return to the discussion at hand. I wonder if I might inquire, Professor Lewis, whether, all things considered, you have been to Brighton Marine World?
   
RN: {pouts}
   
DB: British civic development changes course radically with the great fire
of London, after which there was the opportunity to restructure and

recodefine the way records were kept. So that as tiniest spark, as

lonely a place as Puddingbowl Lane..
   
RN: That's were you have your haircut.
   
DB: It is not until the nineteenth century that...
   
RN: And you eat your dinner in snot and bogey pie avenue.
   
DB: You need special medicine to live, and I'm the one going to Brighton
Marine World.
   
RN: {pouts}
   
DB: It is of course possible to achieve an exact dating for such artefacts, er, this coin, for example, is quite clearly inscribed C - L - M - X - I - I
   
RN: I have observed the inscription.
   
DB: Which is your best ever spelling of climax.
   
RN: See a whelk store outside a South London pub?
   
DB: Oh yes, yes.
   
RN: And it's got to be about 5 o'clock on a hot Saturday afternoon and all
that's left upon the display tray are a few sorry looking jellied eels, one whelk, and a couple of dry, shrivelled prawns.
   
DB: I have observed such a roadside establishment.
   
RN: That's Brighton Marine World.
   
DB: {pouts}

 

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